did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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