his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
