I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
