I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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