Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
