It's Friday. Sex?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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