Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
