Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
