Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
