Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
