I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
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I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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