I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
