i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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