So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
