we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
