fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
