This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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