i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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