im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
