I wannas sexs uuuuu
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
