i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
