I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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