it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
