i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
