I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I need to align my fucking chakras
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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