I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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