sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
