oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
