they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
