I don't think brook has ever known best
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
