He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
