i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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