with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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