from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this just has baby written all over it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
