Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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