Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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