I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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