i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
