I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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