Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the condom got lost in my hair
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
two words: eviction party
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
