she pinky promised me she was 18
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
