THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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