question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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