So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
