32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
