After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
