i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My liver just had a heart attack.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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