So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
