There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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