how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
