She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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