why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
