ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.