What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat