very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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