Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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(330): View more from Ohio

The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Brb crying the tears of my youth

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(850): View more from Florida

My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.

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