You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
