great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize