Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
