apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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